Monday

To Promote or Not to Promote...

--whoa. corrections have been made. that's all I'm gonna say.--

I have seen people be promoted, passed over, and fired. I have also been through similar circumstances. And I have to say: a lot of it seems to be really spontaneous.

No one seems to think things through when doing so, therefore you end up getting a lot of incapable people in power, and good candidates on the street. Why is this? There are several factors involoved.

The first one is pressure. Recently I've noticed that it could be just the manager pressuring him'erself to promote as fast as possible. This makes it look like they are good at training. However once that employee is out of said manager's hair, any mistakes they make are their own. There can also be pressure from the higher-ups to fire someone because money or product is missing (or profits aren't high enough).

Weaker managers buckle under this pressure. They don't want to fire anyone, or they rush in picking those to promote, thereby making a wrong decision and making future decisions of the same even more difficult. If one hastily promotes a thief and fires a good candidate for CEO, s/he is going to have to do one of two things once s/he figures out the truth: pretend that s/he was right, or admit to everyone that s/he made a mistake.

Another factor is--you guessed it--biases.* If that manager is racist or sexist, more than likely s/he is going to make a poor decision somewhere down the line. There may be an excellent candidate for promotion, but if s/he is of the "offending" description, then in reality his'er job is more likely up for termination.

And, finally, favorites. We all have that special someone we enjoy working with, what's wrong with that? If that's all it is, then nothing--but otherwise, well--just read on.
Bob is a new employee at "Jane's Mart, Inc." He is an intelligent, funny, kind, hard-working guy, and his personality really compliments his boss's. They hit it off and his boss begins to trust him with different things, and--because they are friends and all--doesn't watch him. When he costs the store money, the manager chalks it up to mistakes. When product goes missing, the boss looks elsewhere. Not readily finding the problem, this manager starts to imagine problems with other people, finally firing the wrong person. Bob isn't stupid--he knows to stop doing anything until a replacement is hired. And the process starts all over again with him never being suspected.
That's what's wrong with favorites. It is estimated that 83% of theft in any retail business is done by employees, and you can't tell who's a statistic just by looking. Service with a smile indeed!

So when it comes down to it, management doesn't always make decisions based on fact and reality. But you probably already knew that.

**A quick little message to those in any customer service position who is prejudiced against any kind of people: Get out of that profession now. You can't be a doctor that is afraid of germs or a musician who refuses to play B sharp, can you? So unless you can repress these feelings wholly and completely (and you are in no way a part of the hiring/firing process), then just quit now. Thanks**

Wednesday

Cops.

I have a co-worker that talks about how much s/he hates cops. S/he thinks they are all crooked and abuse their power. However one day his'er house gets robbed and his'er spouse gets shot at, and now s/he's all SO GRATEFUL that the cops showed up to help. Don't be like this.

When you are working at a small convenience store, cops are your friends. Yes, you can't steal stuff while they are there (you aren't doing that anyway, right?)--but they also make it less likely that you'd get shot in the face while on duty. Here are three easy steps to keep them at your store and not the one down the street:

Step 1: Ask your manager if there are any freebies for police.

Step 2: If there are, use them at every chance and make sure that these "brothers (and sisters!) in blue" know about them.

Step 3: Chat'em up! Talk to them, entertain them, have fun! Laugh at their jokes, though you've heard them a thousand times. Feel free to partially neglect your cleaning duties when they're there. Horse around, situation permitting.

The "popo" are people, too, y'know. They have families and cook-outs and pets. They have secret recipies and phobias. They can be awesome friends, too. Imagine this: if a zombie apocolypse befalls us, are you going to hide out in your friend's mom's basement or a gun-crazy cop's house? Yeah, that's what I thought.

Sunday

How to Quit (and still have a reference)

You are going to quit. Why? Is it because:

-You hate your job?
-You hate your co-workers?
-You hate your boss?
-You hate your location?
-You hate the company?
-You need more money?
-You found a better job?
-You can't stand your customers?
-You found your calling?
-You have a morality issue?
-You don't have a morality issue?
-You broke up with a co-worker?
-Any other reason?

First things first: don't tell your co-workers. You can tell them, but just don't discuss it with them. Nothing you say will remain as you said it, so you saying, "I broke up with Jared," will turn into, "Jared beats me." No kidding, it will get that misconstrued.

After you have that down, make sure you never get angry. With anyone. Keep smiling and nodding as if you were trying to keep your job, just as before, so that no one will remember you as short-tempered. These last few days are going to be what they remember. So if you slack off, you will be thought of as lazy. If you leave early, that is how you will be characterized. And worse yet, you may just be rumored as having been fired.

As much as you want to, do not go crazy. Don't moon your boss. Don't walk out on a busy shift. Don't quit by text message (*cough*)...just don't. Walk up to your boss and inform him'er that you are putting in your two weeks. If you can't do two whole weeks, give them as much time as possible. Keep everything as civil as possible.

You will probably be asked as to why you are quitting. You can be honest (as long as its a rational reason to quit), but be nice. Do not say, "You are a sucky manager." Say, "I cannot cope with your managerial techniques, even after having open discussions with you and your superiors." Have you not had said discussions? Are you sure you want to just up and quit?

That brings me to my next point: No place is going to be perfect. Don't quit an otherwise awesome job because there aren't enough ways the employees are thanked. Try to talk to your manager (or whoever is in charge of morale) and suggest something. If they don't go for it, take initiative. Worse comes to worse, you have that as an excuse for quitting that makes you sound indispensable.

If you take enough care, your ex-boss can become an advocate instead of an enemy.
Happy quitting!

Friday

As a Manager...

When people move up the ladder, they usually forget little things about being at the bottom. So as you discover upward mobility, refer back to this list so as not to completely lose your soul.

1. Their job is thankless. People go in and out of that store, constantly degrading them, messing up displays, making messes, and generally being really, really obnoxious. Remember to always thank your subordinates and tell them what a good job they are doing.

2. They have lives outside the store. Just because you chose to sign your life away to your company, doesn't mean they plan to. Give them a heads up as to what their schedule is so they can plan for it. Also, don't switch people's shifts around last second unless absolutely necessary, and make sure you actually (and personally) get in touch with them to tell them about said changes.

3. While a lot of people are really stupid, try to remember that there are still a fair number of people out there with half a brain. Train them, but don't constantly remind them of simple tasks. Unless warranted, of course.

4. People have birthdays. Don't schedule them then.

5. Some people are kind of stupid, so don't scare them away with far too much information at a time when training them. A little bit, day by day, and they will remember it better.

6. Unhappy pandas are very, very unproductive ones.

7. People have bad days, and really appreciate it if you acknowledge that. Don't hesitate to let a person take a five minute cool-down break away from customers--or a five second one screaming obscenities in a fridge or shirt sleeve. And learn to forgive the occasional outburst--they will be much more willing to apologize and calm down.

8. Don't have your customers express more appreciation than you for your employees--that should be embarrassing.

9. Develop a rapport with your employees, but remain separate enough to treat them all equally--don't play favorites.

10. When you recognize your employees, remember that it means almost nothing unless there are a few witnesses. But don't embarrass them, either.

When you read this, did you think to yourself, "this is just a long 'don't do this' list"? This feels really negative and demeaning, doesn't it? Remember this next time you address your staff. They get this all the time.

Wednesday

Types of Establishments

Franchise vs. Corporate Store vs. Small Business

I have worked for all of these types of establishments and I wanted to share my view of the pros and cons of working at each. I'm only going to touch on a couple subjects, though. Later on, I'll probably write more on this topic.


Job Security

Corporate stores are pretty much always going to have higher job security when it comes to having a business there to have a job at. However, they are also able to easily replace you as they have money enough and traffic enough to advertise a job opening. They also have a neat little tactic called "employee sharing." If one store for Corporate, Inc. has a hole to be filled in a shift, then they can call another store and see if they have someone who wants more hours. This means, they rely that much less on you. (note: not all corporate stores take full advantage of this)

Franchises are not as easily staffed and therefore need to keep a tighter grip on their employees, but they are more likely to fail or be sold than their corporate counterparts.

Small businesses can be here today, gone tomorrow. Most businesses period fail within the first five years. Barring that, you're pretty much set.

However, there is another thing to consider with that:

Hours per Week

The harder it is for your store to replace you, the more hours you're going to get. Period. The fewer employees there are, the more likely you're going to get called in to replace someone who is sick, and the less likely you're going to get a chance to do the same. So take that list up there, and flip it. Of course there are always exceptions--right now I work at a corporate store and we're pretty hard-pressed for people.

Getting Hired

While for the most part, hiring managers are always going to be able to hire you on the spot (for customer service jobs, anyway), there still is a little bit of a difference in styles.

For Corporations, there is almost always certain criteria laid down for the hiring managers to follow such as: drug testing, background checks, certain types of experience, et cetera. So you may be perfect for the job, but smoke a little pot on the weekends. Or you may be a perfectly...rehabilitated felon. You're not gonna get this job.

Franchises are also probably going to be a little more structured when it comes to hiring than small businesses, but they are a little more flexible than corporations.

When you work for a small business, your boss...may just be your dealer. Well, okay, this could be true with corporations, but its far more likely to happen with a less structured hiring process.

Training

Corporations spend hundreds of thousands (if not more) on learning the most cutting edge of training techniques. They have the money for computer programs written specifically for their registers and protocol, seminars you can attend, classes that are tailor-made...basically, if your corporation cares enough, you will be trained so well that you could do your job in a coma.

Franchise stores usually have access to these materials, but they are not required to adhere as closely to that curriculum.

Then, small businesses basically train by having the most knowledgeable person working that day to show the new kid. Sometimes, just the least busy person. On a plus side to this, however, training can lead to a stronger rapport among the staff, the trainer may learn something new, and the process is altogether less cold than an unfeeling computer telling you that you suck.

Raises/Pay/Benefits

Corporations, once again, are far more guaranteed to exist than any other kind of employer. Therefore, the pay, benefits, raises, etc. are all also more guaranteed. Notice I said "more guaranteed" and not just "guaranteed." Yeah, always remember that...

When it comes to pay, though, the harder it is to replace you, the more you will get paid (that is unless its just hard for them to find someone to work as cheap as you). Both in accumulated hours and your hourly wages.

And finally, to make it easier to get on with your day:

Overall Employee Satisfaction

Corporations don't care if your happy. They do, but only to the point of you staying with the company (if you're useful). Your boss may be a little more concerned, but they are bound by the rules and whims of the company.

Franchises are pretty much the same.

However, small business owners (if they know what's good for them) will usually take a personal interest in your life: they will probably want to meet your spouse, they may take you soup when you're sick at home, they might occasionally demand you take a vacation when you've worked hard...they may even fudge numbers for you, just to make life easier. (this is not recommended for you SB owners out there!) They are also more likely to recognize the little things, like shining all the metal in the store, or being exceptionally patient with a difficult customer. They will celebrate things with you like birthdays or weddings...they are more likely to become a friend of yours, even after you find a better job.

And most of all, a small business owner is more likely to say to a customer:
"Get the f*** out of my store!!"

Monday

Fun Things to Do Late Night

After so many serious posts (and an eternity stretched out in there somewhere), I figured now would be a good time to throw in something a little fun! Just a little list post, if you don't mind. (note: I am not responsible for any repercussion of any kind following this advice may have)

-Celebrate the many silly holidays out there like Talk Like a Pirate Day on 11/19, or Sneak Like a Ninja Day, on 12/5
-If you have enough willing participants, have box car races (with actual boxes)
-Bring crayons and coloring books (enough for everyone)
-Get out the receipt paper rolls (or even the toilet paper rolls if you want) and start building!
-Hide and Seek!
-Origami
-Bring in portable gaming systems and, if possible, have matches against each other.
-Bring in some danceable music and have a sock hop
-Air guitar
-Do many of the things already listed everywhere on the internet (google: "how to be annoying" or "how to stay sane")
-Come in armed with your best jokes and either tell them to just your co-workers, or even perform for your customers
-Pretend with a co-worker to speak a different language in front of customers
-Develop a "twitch" when working at the register
-Make costumes out of boxes and other miscellaneous trash
-Pretend to know one of your customers from the past (extra points if you convince them)
-Switch sections around to confuse the next shift
-Fake an accent...with regulars
-Store paper items in the fridge--give them expiration dates


I will be adding more as I come up with them (or steal them from friends). My point here, though, is that even really boring jobs don't have to be horribly so. And best of all, you get paid to do these things!

Saturday

When Applying for a Job, pt.2

So you've snooped around and have decided that all's okay? Don't be too hasty. The interview process is important to observe, too.

Firstly, how often do they offer positions? If this is a big or growing company, offering positions all the time is fine; however, if this is something like your corner gas station--that may be a problem. This translates into, "we do only business enough to employ the smallest number of people." Why is this bad? Minimum people means maximum hours, right? Well, yes. And then some. When you are yelled at for having overtime even when no one else is available for work, when you are disciplined for taking a sick day, and when there is no possible way for you to take your sibling's birthday off even a month in advance...that's bad. It's also possible that your potential boss may be targeting people seemingly at random to fire. Not to mention that if you do stay, you will be training person after person just to have that guy leave in a few weeks.

Sometimes you will get an interview on the spot, regardless of the situation. This is fine. But take note: Do they find out your qualifications or do they boast their own? This interview tactic is common for both scams and plain crappy jobs. Also know that if they hire you without asking questions, they will also hire the illiterate introvert who can't count as a cashier.

How long did it take you to get hired?
Did they say, "we'll call you?" Or did they hire you on the spot? You may have just completely won them over--y'know, with your doctorate in CS and your major in licking boots. However, if you had one customer service job for a week three years ago...you might want to take that into consideration. Eager to hire means short-handed. Short-handed means, well--just refer back to the other paragraph.

Finally, what's worse than being hired on the spot with less-than-perfect qualifications? Starting later that day.

Please, pass this on to your loved ones! : )
Next time, we discuss the finer things in life--or, things to keep you entertained on the graveyard shift!

Thursday

When Applying for a Job

If you are going to apply for a cashier job, odds are that you don't have a lot of choice regarding where you apply. However, if you do--or if you are having a hard time making a decision--then make sure you pay attention to the details. Otherwise you will be regretting it later on.

(While most of this list applies to all jobs, I wrote this with cashier jobs in mind.)

Before you ever grab an application, snoop around as much as possible. Ask questions, listen to conversations, look at areas accessible only by staff.

Step one is to assess the people:

Are the Employees happy?
This may seem like a dumb question, but how often have you or someone you know worked where everyone was already miserable. How can you tell? Are they smiling, chatting, working? "Are they working" may sound counter intuitive, but sometimes people are lazy because they are "punishing" their employer--or even just the next shift.

Is the boss happy?
Come at a time when the boss is there--even better if it's the boss's boss. The phrase, "s--t rolls downhill" is truer than you may think. Another way to determine if the boss is happy: look to see if there are any signs posted saying, "don't do this," or "do it this way." The less signs, the better. One exclamation mark is okay, more is bad, and just a period is worse. Those are last ditch efforts to train employees; lazy at best, but more likely it's just that nobody cares anymore.

Are the customers happy?
I will never work fast food again if I have the choice, because hungry people are never happy until full. And what do they do then? Leave. If you have a customer service job, that's who you deal with--the customers. And if they aren't happy, you'll never be.

Is the store well-stocked, organized, and clean? If not, this store could have a number of things wrong with it. Maybe they just got slammed in a horrid rush and just didn't have time to clean. That's not bad. Some people like it busy. However, this could also mean...they don't have adequate supplies for cleaning...they don't have a system of organization in place...equipment is broken (either just for now or it happens all the time)...and maybe everyone just doesn't care.

Finally, listen for "office gossip." Gossip has never been a catalyst for success, so try to find employment as far away from it as possible. There are always going to be gossipy people no matter where you go, but if it's the boss doing it, turn right back around and leave.

That's enough for today. Next time we'll look at the ways to assess the store itself to help you with a decision.